Skip to main content

The Twelve by Justin Cronin

Another long book where
lots of people die.
Before I get sidetracked into the usual "books are only a device to talk at length about pseudo-intellectual concerns, make dull jokes and pass reference to the suffering of mild and trivial anxieties" side-show, I think I should start this review with an appropriate bang.

I hate Stephen King.


Now I don't know him personally (although his pictures creep me out) and I'm sure he's a nice chap and all that, but his books are formulaic, predictable and appeal to the lowest common denominator-type reader. Not that this is a bad thing (I'm sure James Patterson wouldn't be a multi-multi-millionaire if this were so) but it makes him completely uninteresting to me, because I'm more concerned with pseudo-intellectualism etc. and so on. Hate might seem too strong a word, but it really has gotten to the point where even the mention of his name makes my teeth grate (in keeping with the vague dental theme begun in a recent review I shall hereby disclose that I suffer from dental attrition probably brought on by the profusion of terrible authors that make me clench my jaws shut to stop me from spewing forth bile) and allows my dentist make another down payment on his Porsche Cayenne off-road atrocity. If this bothers you, it's pretty much too late for me to do anything about it, and I'm not sorry.

The reference to King is a valid one when considering Cronin's second book in his vampire trilogy, begun with The Passage in 2010. I recall being awed by the first book, it's breadth and scope, it's wild, untamed nature and complete disregard of the well being of the characters (in so far as quite so many of them were eaten, killed, or turned into vampires). It did go on a bit, and by his own admission, he does write long books where lots of people die, but it kept me attentive and as engaged as one can be when nearly everyone that is introduced as a character gets disemboweled at some point. The parallel should already be evident. King spends a long time creating characters, introducing them and laying on the back story, only for them to disappear into the maws of monster clowns or at the hands of aliens. Cronin has a discernible present, where his principles exist, but goes to great length to sculpt credible and important pasts, many of them, which he then litters with the corpses of those characters with whose existence the reader has just become engaged. Either that or they come back as vampires later on. This is mostly annoying, but bearable, in part because the writing is pretty darned good.

In fact, this is a novel of highs and lows. The writing is good - like a good genre novel the author's voice is happily distant and characters tell the story, their voices believable and authentic - and the action pretty much non-stop, and unlike The Passage which ends leaving the reader gasping at the unfairness of lack of closure, it could stand alone in its own right. However, the lows are sufficient to besmirch its fine, glossy coat with mud and burrs and occasionally wish you'd not let it into the house to mess up the carpets. It is overly long perhaps, and the characters are so numerous that it is difficult to keep track, so much so that there is a dramatis personae included as an appendix at the back. Whilst I said that it could stand alone apart from the first instalment, those characters that do make the jump across volumes I had almost completely forgotten about, even dead FBI agent and (*SPOILER ALERT*) now vampire minion Brad Wolgast. With the weight of forgotten material pulling the story down by the hair, it was a bit of a drag to push myself right to the end. Oh, and the ending? I've read a couple of reviews which had, instead of thoughtful musings, variations on "WTF??!!" It is a little odd, and if you'd not been paying attention, could certainly catch you unaware and leave you confused and disappointed. The plot itself is entertaining, but there are points where one is swaying from the violence, giddy with the quick turns and switchbacks, and intermittently, bored by the sheer number of words on a page, and pages in the book. And, frankly, the titular Twelve didn't put up much of a fight.

To give Cronin credit, and produce my habitual feedback sandwich, I will repeat that the writing is good. The fact that he brings to mind Stephen King (gnash) is a drawback, and the perceived faults outlined above accrue to the detriment of the work, but I did enjoy reading it. I am a little impatient to see where it all goes from here, and am likely to patronise him at least once more, in support of his work if not also by damning him with faint praise.

Comments

How's about that then?

Free Fall In Crimson by John D. MacDonald

Trav is back, still grieving the loss of some chickadee or other whose death almost knocked him off his game, but not too shook up to set himself up with a few more lucky lovelies whilst tripping his way through another overly complicated and rather sordidly underwhelming plot. This time, some bikers are making dirty movies with minors on the set of a future classic hot-air-balloon movie. Travis falls into the action because a rich old geyser carks it in unusual circumstances and it affects the trust fund of a former marina-mate. And hirsute intellectual Meyer wets his pants towards the end. 

You may sense a fatigued, sardonic note in my precis. It's not that I don't still love John D., it's just that after embarking on the long game that is reading the entire Travis McGee oeuvre, I'm approaching the end and it feels long overdue. It's been fun, it's been enlightening, but it's also been a schlep. With the realisation I might now have fewer years left to me …

The Lost Time Accidents by John Wray

Fup by Jim Dodge

If there was a comfort-food version of a book for me, then this would be it. It's funny, touching, humanistic, and features so many quotable quotes that its trim 120 pages could be represented in its entirety on some such authors' quotations page.

We're introduced to Tiny on the occasion of his mother's death, lured into a treacherously fatal situation by, of all things, a duck, while her 4-year-old son sleeps in the car where he wakes to a terrifying solitude. Meanwhile, we're treated to a potted but entertaining history of Granddaddy Jake, Tiny's grandfather, into whose care by fair means or foul (no pun intended) he is finally placed. But the titular Fup duck comes along only once Tiny is fully grown (and how!). A lost and lonely duckling, much like Tiny, she's discovered shivering in a freshly dug post hole, which betrays the attention paid to it by Tiny's nemesis, a wild hog called Lockjaw, who enjoys tearing up Tiny's fences just as much as he …

Metaliterature - what meaning to have is this for meaning?

Not a review this time, more of a curiosity. It seems I'm receiving lots of hits from Russia (Здравствуйте России!) from people searching for the definition of "metaliterature". As such, it is something of a bespoke word, created to fit a need and probably not yet recognized outside literary theory / criticism circles (Merriam-Webster Online certainly don't like it). I was wondering what they typed in to end up here, so, for fun (it's not fun, sorry) I thought I'd bung it in Google Translate and see what came out. As it turns out, one needs a little hyphen for the rather ponderous machine to understand it, and even then only does half the job (meta seems to be meta in any language). 
Incidentally, below is, ironically, a Google Chrome Thesaurus definition* of "meta":

met·a Adjective/ˈmetə/
(of a creative work) Referring to itself or to the conventions of its genre; self-referentialInterestingly (not interesting, sorry) it says this for the full term, t…